Windows 8, Vista 0

Yay, Windows 8 everyone. Now it does the work for you and you can all go home early. Doesn't it seem a lifetime ago when Vista came out? You know, when you had to click on things and load them and use Word, ahhh, the old days.

Anyway, that reminded me of a long lost snippet of Mr Vista history that never came out. And here it is. Something and nothing really - but then hey, that's binary for you!

Hasta La Vista

Please upgrade your copy of Mr Vista. It has expired.

The final ever Mr Vista. Thank goodness. Please return your normal, repetitive lives. Thank you.

Mini Me

You know that minimise button? Now THAT could be very helpful. Perhaps on your waistline if you have been sitting in front of progress bars recently!

Filmed from thoughts that leaked from the mind of Michelle Goode.

We all know that impatience is the curse of the IT user. I mean, come on, we aren't getting any younger are we? And yet there we are, wasting the best years of our lives watching a spiny thing or a little egg timer if we are mac addicts. And that egg-timer just flips around when it is empty anyway.

Okay, so maybe we weren't actually planning on doing anything with these 'best years', as we generally fear the outside and other humans. But that isn't the point!

So what is the point? Oh yes, today's lesson. Don't click away on the mouse like a twitching chimp, just give in, surrender, and wait for the egg timer.

Today's episode is from the prolific pen of Michelle Goode.

Mr Vista is Fragged Off

What happens when you reach half way through series 3 of a so-called 'comedy' web series? Well it seems that Mr Vista has become clogged up with stupid ideas and is hampered by repetitive, almost formulaic thoughts. Luckily, the colleague is on hand to perform a defrag!

Written by Michelle Goode. Music by Louis Derry

Mr Vista gets a Virus

Mr Vista is stricken with a spot of the winter flu. But, hey, that's no problem for the geek-meister. He has just had his anti-virus application installed. Just as well his brain doesn't contain too many files!

Guest writer: Michelle Goode. Music by Louis Derry.

Mr Vista has one final attempt at getting his Windows 7 inspired advert made. We have heard that he has been working on some 'exciting' ideas - he just needs to print them out. Yes, we can all see where this is going! But go with it. At least it is short. And the last one of these advert thingies.

PLUS - don't forget that there are some shameless and commercially suspect Mr Vista gifts for that geek in your life. If you don't have a geek in your life then you probably are one yourself. In which case you don't have any friends. So, hey, buy a comedy mug for yourself. It may fill that aching emotional void. Cheers then.

Pop to the shop

Mr Vista was so pleased to discover that you internet people enjoyed his half-assed spoof of the Windows 7 advert - that he has decided to do a take 2. This cyber stardom may all be going to his head, or at least his hat!

Mr Vista's 7 second guide

Mr Vista is back for one more desperate clutch at online fame, now that being a youtube star is generally yesterday's news and everyone is watching Anne Widdicombe instead.

The blue-hatted legend starts will some little teaser episodes to ease you back in. He got quite upset at the "Windows 7 second guide" adverts on TV and so tried to make his own instead.

How 'hot' is Mr Vista?

We were all very proud when YouTube wanted to feature Mr Vista as a case study in using the new 'Hot Spot' feature.

Recognition, fame, pride. We all need such things. And who better to deliver it then a large advert funded corporation!

This new feature allows you to see how a video holds the attention of the viewer. Adam Sense, from YouTube, talks through the system and how it could be used to make Mr Vista a richer experience for viewers everywhere. The man is clearly understands the exciting nature of this new artform with an eye to the sensibilities of its growing audience and the boundaries of its aesthetic potential.

Back up your brain

Back up your brain
Uploaded by MrVista - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

YES! We see a 'welcome' return to the Brain Transfer Kit! As seen in previous episodes it has now returned to seek revenge. Perhaps it should be used to forget the entire second series of Mr Vista.

But remember, as "The Colleague" says - if you are going to use the Brain Transfer Kit (tm) then obviously make sure that you back your brain up first. Losing 10 years of photos when your hard drive goes down is nothing compared to having your mind reformatted. All those childhood memories can't be recovered. But then maybe that is for the best. And if you wait long enough old age will dull the pain. It ensures that the cumilative experience of lost chances and regrets - aka your life - slips in a grey fog.

Now if only we could invent a brain RAID!

Getting somewhere at last

The SatNav of life! With Mr Vista
Uploaded by MrVista - Click for more funny videos.

Mr Vista is all about good wholesome feelings such as; boredom, despair, lethargy, melancholy - and my own personal favourite; the feeling of being ineffective.

Well today this is all summed up via the medium of the satnav. Now you really can feel like you aren't getting anywhere in life. Hurrah!

Guest writer: Dom Carver
Guest appearance by: The Progress Bar

Worst Holiday Ever

Just as it gets sunny let's remember what a real British trip to the seaside should be like! Yeah! Us geeks aren't really happy with all this good weather. Damn, we may even lose our paleness!!! So think of this video as something comforting.

So now - the full awful, tragic and depressing evidence of Mr Vista's so-called holiday. A follow on from the previous episode as so many people seemed to like the brief glimpse and wanted to see more downbeat miserable drudgery to quench their Mr Vista thirst!

Worst Holiday Ever
Uploaded by MrVista - Exotic and entertaining travel videos.

Should remind you of your childhood too!

The impact of the recession - in progress bar form

The impact of the recession - in progress bar form
Uploaded by MrVista - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.

Yes! Back by demand - the progress bar.

Seeing as how that was what this whole ridiculous thing was supposed to be about it makes sense to have it in every now and again. In the same way that you have to invite that uncle around 3 times a year even though he smells of despair.

Anyway, another great episode written by Dom Carver. And next time, more from Mr Vista's holiday.

Dude, where's my personal jetpack?

Dude, where's my personal jetpack?
Uploaded by MrVista

You know how it is. You ask for a personal jet pack, a simple enough request, and yet it never arrives!

Of course things that have come true include being able to speak to anyone on the planet from anywhere on the planet, having access to the sum of all human knowledge and of course the ability of just about anyone to be able to create any artistic endeavor at home.

But whatever dude, where's that damn jetpack I saw when I was a nipper!

Progress, what progress?

Mr Vesta

Estimated time to microwave this dinner - 2 minutes. Yeah right! It seems like progress bars and the the back of food boxes have a lot in common!

Ever feel like the life is being sucked out of you? Of course you do. Why else would be here, at the home (the epicentre even) of that kind of downbeat defeatist thinking? Good on ya! Welcome.

Anyway - here is an analogy to that way of thinking as Mr Vista attempts to simply heat up his frozen lunch. Is it that simple - yes. Is it that simple for him - luckily no, or I'd be out of a job.

Today's fine episode was sent in by writer Dom Carver. Dom's original script also made reference to the progress bar - but I think his idea is strong enough without. Take it away Dom...

Mr Vesta
Uploaded by MrVista

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Plus, hear all about Mr Vista on the BBC. He will feature on the Pods and Blogs show which is broadcast very early Tuesday morning. But perhaps its better to catch it online afterwards.

Funnee vid 4 sure lol

Dis week u can c a vid all about smileys and acronyms. So if u dont no your 'lmao' from your 'rtfm' then this is the film 4 u! :) *

*please also be aware that I now feel ill from typing this and am expecting society to fall at any moment. But before that happens please do not deny yourself a final moment of please and the 'enjoyment' of this weeks slice of geek related fun that is Mr Vista. Take it away you blue-suited clown...

Funnee vid 4 sure lol
Uploaded by MrVista

Hot girl on webcam

Mr Vista and the hot girl
Uploaded by MrVista

Mr Vista has pulled at last! Virtually of course.

Remember the bad old days? Back then to get a cheeky peek of the female form took effort. Probably involving making 'Scuff Face' Andrews* give you a bunk up so you peek in through the girl's changing room's upper windows - as an example. What a waste of time! And they painted them over after a few weeks anyway. Pah!

Well there is none of that now. The onward march of technology, the billions of dollars invested in technology, the decades of work putting in an international network of inter-connected servers have all paid off. The time is now! Now some girls will give you a tease for free. Awesome. And better for Scuff Face's back too!

* Replace your long suffering friends name here - eg. Chubby Cheng, Killer Khan, Beak nosed Brenda or just plain old 'Fart breath'.

Mr Vista - the tease

How to be hot!
Uploaded by MrVista

If you have always wanted to be a first class and excellent cam-whore then Mr Vista can help you. I mean, what better way is there to gain self respect and claim your dignity than posing about on the net. I'm sure that was what the internet was invented for wasn't it. So feel free, flirt away, it makes the opposite sex value and admire you - honest!

Download free films here!

Download free feature films here
Uploaded by MrVista

Everyone is at it. Even your dear old nan. So this week, the modern era's answer to Buster Keaton gets all piratebay on your ass. Therefore (and thus) we proudly present Mr Vista's attempt to download some free feature films. Obviously you wouldn't know anything about that - would you!

This week's guest writer is Steve Morrison. A great comedy writer... here is a plug for his new book...