The quiz results (so far)

'Self reflection' and 'personal diagnosis' is always a great way to waste time. And I am happy to help you all in doing it.

However, some bad news. It would seem that the majority of 'Vistarons' are in fact too cool for Mr Vista. Here are three tasks to do this week which should help you all get back on the pointless treadmill of existence where you know that you belong:

1/ Try to install linux on your Playstation3. Its geeky. Pointless. And turns a fun device into a machine that requires constant IT maintenance and updates. Brilliant!

2/ Rip all your DVDs. Why have bulky DVDs that you feel obliged to lend to friends? Sod that. Instead spend days ripping them all to your media server - even better news - you may need to upgrade your 'g' wireless to 'n' to make it stream okay. What a treat! Bonus points for spending hours researching the best codec to rip to. Super extra bonus for picking a codec that is amazing but that no-one in the world uses.

3/ Set up a fake profile. Don't have enough 'friends' on facebook etc. Set up a fake one instead. Someone that could, in fact, actually be popular. Someone who looks like he may go out and do things and would have an opinion of things. Word of caution however - prepare for instant depression as your imaginary person turns out to be more popular than you within 14 hours.

Take the Mr Vista quiz!

See how much of a geek you really are! And you are off to a great start already by...

a/ being here
b/ thinking about taking a nerdy online quiz

So go for it.

This page cannot be found

You know how it is, you are merrily 'surfing' the web - or at least floating on it in a blow up dingy - when you hit the dreaded...

404 error

aka - page not found.

Well now, at last, that need not be the boring dead end it is today. Not if webmasters everywhere ditch that dull, lifeless bit of text and instead select one of "Mr Vista's stupidly short yet depressingly accurate portrayals of the randomness and repetition of life as typified by following a dead link to an empty page" clips. Or, for those who prefer to have things explained using old fashioned notions of 'truth' or 'accuracy' - here are some 5 second clips you can stick on dead pages.*

Why let people guess whether you have stuffed up your website build? Be proud of it.

See you in the future folks!

*If you have a website then you will probably find your webspace provider has a folder of error pages you can adapt. Have look in your server space. Simply add the code for the clip you like to the html of the 404 error code page. You get the embed code you need to add by clicking on the 'menu' button of the clip you like and then selecting 'URL and embed code'.

Free set of Mr Vista Emoticons

Roll up, roll up! Get you free set of nerdy MSN* chat emoticons. Yes! You too can appear a full on nerd in front of your friends, peers, colleagues and flirt buddies. If that is your thing - and I should hope that it is.

Why simply have the letters LOL appear when instead they see this... Hilarity ensured. Be popular instantly!

Download the full set of MSN chat emoticons here. Some chat programs allow you to install this package as a zip straight in. If you can do it this way then you will find the right picture is already attached to the right phrase. Easy!

*other types of chat programs are also welcome

The Mr Vista Interactive Adventure - be him!!!

Yes. It's true. Now you can live the dream. Be Mr Vista in one of his mind-numbingly average adventures. Start now.

Click here